he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
