plz talk dirty to me
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
