Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
