I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
