What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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