My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize