Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
