and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
