my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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