come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
