So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
