Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
