and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
