And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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