My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
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