I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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