He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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