Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
