idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
