what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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