There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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