i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
