drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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