im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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