My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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