I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
