she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
this hospital has no fireball
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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