Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
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I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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