New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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