The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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