Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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