After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
i need some magic done to my vagina
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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