i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
