They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
