Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks

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  (914): I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks http://tfl.nu/uwbl
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.

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  (508): Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast. (508): PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail. http://tfl.nu/qbqn
  Replies (29) Good night (5091) Bad night (545)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  video games are the ultimate cock blocker

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  (781): video games are the ultimate cock blocker http://tfl.nu/a2qu
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.

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  (860): i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess. http://tfl.nu/ekn6
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  (516): View more from New York

  Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?

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  (516): Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21? http://tfl.nu/nv55
  Replies (6) Good night (3946) Bad night (844) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back

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  (630): scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back http://tfl.nu/xz4y
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.

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  (407): Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit. http://tfl.nu/dysf
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.

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  (514): He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic. http://tfl.nu/4dpi
  Replies (38) Good night (11897) Bad night (1009) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.

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  (860): i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty. http://tfl.nu/tep7
  Replies (30) Good night (14479) Bad night (1047)
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  (585): View more from New York

  He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.

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  (585): He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working. http://tfl.nu/9caj
  Replies (8) Good night (4415) Bad night (553) Order T-Shirt
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk

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  (224): At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk http://tfl.nu/rjll
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."

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  (248): So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits." http://tfl.nu/x9en
  Replies (6) Good night (2321) Bad night (522) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?

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  (773): Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents? http://tfl.nu/nffm
  Replies (4) Good night (677) Bad night (368)
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  (310): View more from California

  I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass

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  (310): I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass http://tfl.nu/6152
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  (850): View more from Florida

  He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.

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  (850): He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes. http://tfl.nu/l8op
  Replies (4) Good night (957) Bad night (321) Order T-Shirt

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