Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.