you suck at this game today
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.