I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
