there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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