After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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