You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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