Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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