How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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