what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
