i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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