how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize