If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
