One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
