so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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