You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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