You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
