I wish i was in the wii world.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
