Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
