it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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