Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
