was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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