either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
stop calling my apartment porn island.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
