It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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