i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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