brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
