in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
So vagazzling was a success
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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