College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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