his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
