just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
