You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
