It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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